Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Joyous Kwanzaa, Happy (Belated) Hanukkah, Happy Winter Solstice

Or whatever doesn’t offend you, because that seems to have become a thing again this year. I really don’t care what greeting I receive, it’s just nice (most of the time) for someone to take a few seconds in their day to acknowledge my presence. There is 1 hour and 15 minutes left on this Christmas night. I had a good Christmas, Santa (or my mom) was super generous and I got to see my grandparents and my aunt. My mom made a really good dinner, per usual, and it was overall a good holiday.

As a little Christmas special, I wrote a living tribute to Shirali Y. Patel.

Literally a living tribute, because she is indeed still alive. I promised earlier in the year I would write her eulogy so I thought I should start working on it, you know, just in case….

Shirali Y. Patel. What can I say about Shirali Y. Patel. Not her middle name. I can’t say that about Shirali Y. Patel. But at this point, everyone probably already knows it because everyone with the last name Patel *cough* Shirali and Jahnavi *cough* cannot keep a secret. Shirali is well known for her baby hairs, neutral colored clothing, and collection of unique phrases such as: “Ain’t nobody got time for that,” “I like you,” “If you were a boy I’d date you” (to either gender), “Frick,” “The struggle is real,” “God dang it,” “Oh my god(s),” You’re a cutie,” "I ain't about that life" and the ever controversial “You’re a classy broad". Although sometimes asleep, or doing homework through it, Shirali spent many hours in temple and celebrating the every other day holidays. She was also well known for her spotless room due to daily and sometimes twice daily vacuuming sprees, and her frequent hair washings.

There are too many times to remember to account in one premature eulogy. As a group we spent many a night sleeping on the floor of a social lounge while the movie watched us. Shirali became my one a day hug person, making me comfortable with human interaction, and a day without seeing her was a weird day indeed.

Since she isn’t actually dead I don’t have to say farewell friend, but one day we will all perish from this earth. Hopefully we will be old and cratchity and have lived good fulfilling lives. Being a teenager makes us feel invincible, but were not. So don’t do drugs! Or drink excessive amounts of alcohol (but if you do please make it to the toilet), or have lots of premarital sex for money (but if you do please use a condom), and all that junk.

Phew…that eulogy made me feel like someone actually died glad that’s over with.

Oh and here is a nice Bingo Board for the enjoyment of anyone who knows Shirali.

Merry Christmas and Good Evening to all,

Noelle

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Musings of a Semester Gone By

I originally wrote this post when I got home from school last Saturday, set it aside, then edited it, and reedited it. I cut some parts, and added some parts.

This semester probably wins for most eventful. I came in ready for anything. It was different from the first time around because I already had friends and I already knew what to expect, or I thought I did. I spent most of this semester surprisingly happy. I don’t really know why, but for the most part I was really happy.

I came in August for Major Events Committee, which I wouldn’t do again, but had an okay time doing. It was basically just college camp. We saw speakers and then helped move people in to their dorms. I got a lot of free t-shirts.

Major Events (Never again though)

Classes started. They went alright. I got yelled at for cell phone usage 2 weeks in during biology class, which basically gave me an irrational fear of the professor.

Our friend group sort of disintegrated. I don’t really know what happened. I guess we all changed, and there were left over fights. I made really good friends with smaller group of people I stayed with in this weird separation, and I stayed friends with everyone for the most part, so that's cool.

I’ve also spent a lot more time with my Christian homeschool friends, something that has been a bit mind blowing. I don’t really know how that happened. But I really like them.

I’ve been working a little on the religion thing. I kind of like the Catholic church. I don’t really know why, but I like the ritual and the tradition of the whole thing. My mom would probably kill me if I decided to be Catholic, but then again maybe she wouldn’t. I’ve tried the praying thing, but I don’t feel like I’m very good at it. We only really pray when we want things. I feel like I pray too much for my grades (first world probs).

My October was pretty uneventful. I really do not remember much from it. I went to a pretty lame Halloween party and read the last book in the Divergent series. My grades started to slip sometime in there.

Our appropriate Halloween costumes

November is when all the excitement hit. It went by surprisingly fast, for unusual reasons, but it was a growing up moment. Or multiple moments. It was full of moments of advocation and holding my tongue. Feelings of apprehension over the health someone I barely knew. I couldn’t really figure out why I cared so much. I like to think it’s because I am a good person, but that might just be my ego talking, and I lost out on my chance at free tuition. I did get a boost in my people skills though. I started to feel better about my ability to interact with human beings, and I think I got a pretty good friendship out of the deal.

World's most poorly timed Bitstrip (I didn't know what happened when I made it)

December was basically just finals week, but we had a kick ass Christmas party if I may say so myself. It had the qualities of the personalities of the planners. Laid back, chilled out, and low maintenance, or at least I thought so.

Group shot

Awkward cuddling (People around here seem to be into that)

Where's Waldo? Oh, it's me. 

Another good group shot

Family photo

I basically redid my entire schedule in an angry huff the other day. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not. Maybe it was a rash decision, but maybe rash decisions can be right ones. Maybe what I was feeling at that moment gave me the courage to do what I wanted to do all semester. But, good news, at least for me, my GPA didn't tank this semester. I now have the grades I thought I needed to make my decision, but I still can’t make a decision. I have a psychology schedule set up, but I could recover the biology. I really need to sit down and make a choice, and I am going to stick by that choice for the semester. I just don’t want to have any regrets.

The semester has come to an end. I'm so glad that classes are over with, but I already sort of miss everyone. Home is boring. But I’m enjoying the break.

~Noelle

So long for now

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It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Finals Week (And Christmas Too)

It's that time of the year again, folks. All nighters, endless amounts of caffeine, becoming a fixture in the library, its finals week! Well, the end of finals week. I'm taking a break from writing a paper to write this blog post. Kind of funny. I had all semester to write the paper, but hey, due tomorrow, do tomorrow. I took my last final today, which I'm fairly sure I got a 50% on. Not even kidding. The amount of guessing I did on that test was mind blowing, sad, but there is nothing I can do about it now.

With finals, comes grades. If there is something panic inducing, it's grades. I am personally the nerd that has an excel sheet to figure out mine, and I can probably guess I'm not alone on this matter. I'm probably not going to be super happy at the end of this semester, but what can you do.

But, to everyone who is freaking out about their GPA, your grades do not define you. You cannot win at everything, and if you get a B, it will not change you as a person, and it will not change your dreams. If you get an F, well then, my condolences, but A-'s, B's, you get no sympathy from me. And to those experiencing these imperfections for the first time, welcome to the human race.

The annual Derpy Christmas Party is on Friday. I've been looking forward to it all week. It's the little things. Friends, pizza, and ice skating, what else could you want? With the planning of this for second time, we found out there was apparently a lot of drama surrounding last years party. I blame it on the fact that we were freshman, we were socially awkward, we were wrapped up in ourselves, and we were on a budget. So to everyone who wasn't included last year, another apology. Although if you slept through it, it's not our fault. This year, however, we are being more inclusive, so no derpy Giant Eagle food this year. The amount of cheese and crackers needed was too much. Oh and if you are reading this and you haven't paid for pizza, pay up.

So funny story, I may have gotten my friend Heather a copy of Royal Pains for Christmas thinking I was a super good gift giver, and then before I even opened my gift from her, I realized we got each other the same thing.

This is how Shirali opens gifts

And this is how I study or shoot nerf darts at my roommate (Don't worry, she wasn't really studying either)

I leave for home on Saturday with another semester under my belt, what feels like another wasted semester. I just keep telling myself I have to know what I don't like to know what I do, and everyone is afraid of being wrong. So I need some more time to figure out my life, I'm 19 years old. How can I be expected to know my entire future when I still have to tell my parents when I am going out. It's just all a little confusing. But, I'm going to take this break to catch up on TV shows, hang out with friends and family, and enjoy Christmas. I have a book calling my name that isn't about biology or chemistry, and a bed that could use some sleeping.

Happy holiday break,

Noelle

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Post Thanksgiving Post

I am currently on a post Black Friday shopping buzz and thought I would write a traditional list of things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. So, things I’m thankful for: The mindless shopping I did tonight, and the ability to do said mindless shopping. I got 2 TV seasons, 7 movies (Silver Linings Playbook and Perks were super cheap and I was super happy), an 8 GB microSD card, and 2 long sleeved v-necks (one of them being a stripy McLongsleeves). Some of the DVDs are gifts for my dad and sister and overall I would call the trip a success. I know it is stupid to go out a buy a bunch of stuff right after you are thankful for what you already have, but I can be thankful for all the junk I bought. The lines were surprisingly smooth and it wasn’t as crazy as I expected it to be. My friends. Everyone is thankful for those. It’s pretty cliche but I’m thankful anyway. So shout out to everyone who has made my life better, and definitely more entertaining. Thanks for all your help and awkward hugs. My roommate not dying and such. Not that I really thought she would, but the whole dying in your sleep from a concussion thing had me a bit worried. But, I guess if I’m worried it means I like her alright and all. So I’m thankful for a happy dorm room. We hit the October benchmark where I can officially say the arrangement is a success.

My family. Also a cliche. I’ve appreciated my parents a lot more lately. They were laughing because I came home a couple weekends ago and gave them hugs and thanked them for not being ass-holes. So yeah, I’m thankful my parents aren’t ass-holes. And on the family line, I’m thankful my sister got a job. She’s been searching for a while and I think she’ll enjoy having the extra money.

School. I hate it, and I love it. I’m having a bit of trouble deciding what I want to do with it. I’m trying to decide what I should major in, and I’ve been a bit of a spazz about it. Which takes me back to being thankful for my family and friends, because they have to listen to me talk about it a fair amount. But, I know I’m lucky I get to go at all, and all and all it’s been a really great experience.

Music. Both in general and for some great bands I found lately. You can be thankful for that, right? If anyone is looking for something to listen to, Run River North and the Family Crest are my current band fascinations. I thought that could potentially be relevant. And if not, I thought it was an okay plug anyway.

Food. I had a great thanksgiving dinner. My mom did a really good job, even though she skipped the pumpkin pie this year. My grandma and I were disappointed, but the cake was good too. My neighbors brought good food as well. I could stuff my face with mac & cheese all day.

So, anyway, I hope everyone had a great holiday, and now that thanksgiving is over, it’s the Christmas season! Time to break out the Derpy Christmas Party music playlist! I’ll need something to get me through finals week.

~Noelle

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American Good

Think about the last time you greeted someone. Did you ask them how they were? What did they reply with? Good. Good, that’s what I thought. Were they actually good? Probably not. 

Last semester I got in an elevator with the girl who I now share a dorm room with, and I asked her how she was, the common question to avoid awkward elevator silence. And her answer definitely alleviated the silence. I was told I was just asking to be polite, and that I didn’t really care. I had no defense to this accusation, because it was absolutely true. 

Today I was in the hallway with a friend who is Hungarian and she asked me how I was. I replied with the generic good. She asked was I good or American good? 

We're all American good. We say it to move on. We ask how people are, but we don’t actually care. We make pleasantries, but we’re not actually interested in the answer. I do it, you do it, we all do it. But, if you want to tell me how your day is actually going, I will listen to it. I can’t guarantee I will react the way you want me too, but I’ll listen. 

I’ve been wanting to write a blog post all week, but haven’t really known what to say. This week has not been my week to share. When I think about it, blogs are pretty narcissistic, I’m just sitting here writing about myself. Like my life is interesting enough to warrant writing about myself. That and avoiding studying for a test on a subject of which I am losing interest. It's really hard to like something you're not good at. So here I am, at another biology test that I will try to use to decide my fate, except this time my motivation to do well on it is gone. My most rational friend thinks I should switch majors, maybe that is a sign.

I haven't posted a good Shirali picture in a while. So here it is for your enjoyment. I figure I need to get off my serious blog post kick.

That winter weather.

 Oh and Dominick if he were gay. We really wanted to go steal a viola for him.

~Noelle

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Pascal's Wager

I suppose I should make a disclaimer, I've been in an odd mood lately and my posts haven't been as fun as usual. I really actually do like writing, I thought I would say that. I got the okay to post this from the roommate, but I don't want anyone to think I'm weird or anything so I thought I'd say something.


If you believe in God and he exists, the possibilities are infinite, and if you believe in God and he doesn't exist, you have lost nothing. With this logic, it would be foolish the refute religion. I just haven't placed my bet yet.

I haven't really thought about religion in a while, but then I went to the Judgement House, and the title is fitting, I definitely felt judged. The house was supposed to be a Christian version of a haunted house, but it turned out to be an ambush. This was through no fault of the guy who invited us, but the church that presented the house. At the end of our walkthrough drama, we were split into groups of three to talk about our faith. We didn't pick our groups very well, and I was in a group with two Hindu's. The only two Christians by this churches standards were in the same group. So anyway, the man who spoke to me and my two companions was nice and meant well, but did in no way, shape, or form make me want to be "saved." The group of us going to this house was very diverse, from Hindu's to Protestants to Catholics to people with no beliefs at all, and everyone left uncomfortable.

I don't want to put all of my views on Christianity in the hands of this one church, but its experiences like that one that make me not want a religion at all. It's people who believe that everyone who doesn't believe exactly what they believe are going to hell. It's the thought that people can do great things and be great people and still go to hell for not thinking Jesus is their personal savior. What kind of loving God would send a good soul to hell when they were a good person. This is my main gripe with Christianity. I have friends of many religions and never in a heartbeat would I think any of them were going to hell.

My parent's sort of dropped the ball of the religion front. My mom believes that I should make my own choices regarding religion but then is angry when I don't accept her protestant views. When I was a kid I thought I was going to hell for not being baptized, I was the awkward kid in Sunday School who couldn't take communion. Then as I got older, I felt like church was another place where I was Asian trying to be white. I wonder sometimes how religious my friends would be if they weren't indoctrinated into it when they were children. Would they still make the same choices? Organized religion just has a great ability to make me feel uncomfortable. But, it gives so many people hope. It makes so many people feel like their lives are worth living, which is worth more than anything.

So, I'm still sort of searching for it. Whatever it is. It has to be something. That missing feeling people say they feel, I can feel it. And I'm trying to keep an open mind so hopefully one day I will find whatever is supposed to fill that void.

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Mid-Semester Crisis

It's funny how we use numbers for everything. How a series of numbers is all the world needs to judge a persons worth. And with numbers, comes tests. When you're born you're weighed and measured in length, toes and fingers are counted, and you even take your first test and given an Apgar score. Then you grow older and they test you in school, and the first thing they tell you when you get to kindergarten is that you have to pass the first grade writing test, and then when you pass that they start to obsess about the fourth grade tests. So much that the biggest insult a teacher can give you is the notion that you're too stupid to pass them. These tests can cause a teacher to break down in front of you telling an entire group of third graders that they're too stupid to pass a test. Then you get to high school where tests start to have a little more weight. Each week in every subject they test you on the weeks lessons. You memorize and memorize but never actually learn anything because the moment the test is over your brain hits delete to prepare for the next weeks material. Then you rinse and repeat for the next four years. Then comes the college admissions tests where one number can determine where you go to school, and how much money the college thinks you are worth when they give out scholarships. And through it all there is that great number out of 4.0 that everyone is trying to reach. Then grad school with another entrance exam with another score. These numbers dictate our lives. If we let them.

I'm trying not to, but I've been having a bit of a mid-semester crisis this week. I received a C on my first biology test, and although that isn't failing, its "honors failing." And if my course grade is a C I'm going to have to cut my losses and try another major.  I really don't want to change again, and its really more out of pride than love for the subject. I don't want to be the kid that messes around all of college and can't figure anything out, and I don't want to piss off my parents. I really like college and socially it is 100% better than high school ever was, but academically I feel like I'm not getting it. This, however, has been a huge eye opener to my study skills, or lack there of. I am not going to be one of those naturally smart people, I am going to be one of those people who has to work at it. I just have to decide what's worth working at. Lately, I've thinking about majoring in psychology, but I feel like psych is a serious cop out major. Not that I think the subject is a waste, but everyone else does. And I don't want to do what I did with bio and jump into it to find out I'm not very good at it. But, I do like it, and I'm over here geeking out to a spreadsheet full of my friends personality tests. Interests, though, don't pay bills. 

So, I'm gonna spend the rest of the semester trying my best and hoping my best is good enough, and if it isn't I guess I have to make decisions. No one is perfect. I just want to say that to everyone I've been listening to freak out about they're grades lately. That and offer them my C to dry the tears from their A-. No one is perfect, and as long as you feel like you're doing what you can, there is nothing else that can be done. Accept the things that can't be changed, change the things that can be, and know the difference between the two, or you will drive yourself insane. Enjoy your life, because sometimes things aren't meant to be, and if it isn't meant to be, there will be something else to take it's place.

~Noelle

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Another Ramble

Well, I haven't actually written in a while. This seems to be how I begin every post because I keep forgetting to post. I guess the initial excitement of having this blog has worn off, but it did have a good run. Also, I'm pretty sure my reader base is just 3 people in my dorm building, and all the other hits are those weird blog crawler sites in Russia. Every sketchy thing on the internet seems to stem from Russia. I do like posting though even if its just for my own  enjoyment.

In other news the government is back up and running again. I'm not really sure where I stand on Obamacare. I watched a video about it today and the guy had me until he started ranting about how sick people shouldn't get to have health insurance because then the healthy people have to pay for them and I rage quit the whole thing. If only healthy people had health insurance, there would be no point of it even existing. Sorry, religion and politics...not polite blog conversation.

I've been thinking lately that its weird that in one day I can be incredibly sad and then in a great mood four hours later. I've been spending a lot of time in a bubble where getting a C on a test is  failing, everyone measures their worth by their grades, and homework will always come first, no matter what. We joke about it and I know this is college and school is the most important thing at this point in our lives but sometimes the whole thing just makes me sad. The entire thing, the school, the future. Well, sorry about that. I guess I shouldn't post out of work boredom about my inadequacies.

I was supposed to collect good quotes from my friends this week to put in this post but I have failed at that task. But instead of a Shirali picture, there will be a Shirali quote.

"You come out a grade-A doctor from Cuba!"

That's all I ever really needed to know.

Also I told my friends if they get into medical school, I'll buy them a baseball cap for the team of their new residence. Unless they stay here in Cleveland, then they can keep using the stuff they have, I'm not made of money. Only 50% of the people I know will make it to med school too, so hopefully that can keep the cost down. Oh and I have to bring cream puffs to a friends wedding in 2020. I really need to stop offering to buy people things. Maybe I should start a fund.

By the way, this is my new favorite song. I thought I would share.

~Noelle

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Let's Pick Up Where We Left Off

I realized that it has been three weeks since I've made a blog post and since I had three tests today I have no homework (due tomorrow) so here goes.

To recap the last three weeks of my life:

1. There is now has a vine called Shirali Y Eats. Check it out. Its almost as good as the Shirali pics.

2. The Arctic Monkeys and Grouplove both released new albums that I will be listening to when I get off work tonight. Also the Catching Fire movie soundtrack list is out and it looks really good.

3. I had my first biology test and I can't figure out whether or not I think I did well. I think I spent more time in line to turn the test in than I did actually taking the test. Also the dude in front of me was wearing his shirt backwards. It was a v-neck.

(My evernote just cut out in the middle of this post, and I was very sad)

4. Everyone is a stress monkey this semester because were sophomores and we have more homework. I've been watching to see which Chem-E's will go up in flames. I hope they prove me wrong, and then make me delicious chemically engineered food when they work for Coke. There is only a 10% graduation rate though, so I think my bets are safe.

5. I don't hate my roommate but I can't make a judgement call until October, I guess that's a thing, but I think she'll pass the test. Our room is pretty chill.

6. I started running again and I'm gonna do a 5K with some friends. Well, sorta do it. Our time probably won't be too hot but its the thought that counts...or maybe that only works with unwanted gifts. Eh.

7. I figured out my life with my friend Madison. It involved me taking 12 credits this summer. Bye, bye life and money I hardly knew you. Seriously I hardly did because college is a huge money hole. Hopefully it pays off because seriously so much money, and I go to a public school. I'm sobbing for the people paying 50k a year right now.

8. We are almost done with our fifth week in the semester which is a bit mind blowing. The fall semester seems to go really fast, and then spring just drags on for about 20 years.

9. The new Divergent book, Allegiant is coming out on October 22 and I don't have any tests the next day. Win. Additionally no Org. Chem Test the day Catching Fire comes out. Another win.

10. I went to my first Indians game and they actually won.

I also thought I would explain my obsession with TV shows. When I was in high school I watched TV religiously. I had a schedule every night of the week, and when I came to college I had friends so I stopped doing that. Anyway, this week has been TV premiere week and I am missing Grey's Anatomy right now because I am at work and I am a little salty about that. I did watch last weeks Bones episode today. The writing on that show has just tanked. It used to be my favorite show, but it might have moved its way down to 4th place and now I am going to need to change my security question answers. Parenthood starts tonight too. I channel my inner old person when I watch that show. Whenever I bring it up everyone always tells me their moms watch it. For pilots this year I'm gonna try Blacklist, Trophy Wife, Hostages, The Michael J Fox Show, and Welcome to the Family. It will probably be November before I actually watch them though because there is no time ever to do anything but homework and sleeping.

Well, that was my ramble to kill time at work.

Noelle

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The Line

The social line of appropriateness is a thin and pale line. We're all tiptoeing around it trying to decipher the reaction of others and do what we feel is the best thing for the situation. We spend our whole lives trying to show our best face and make sure that people see what they want to. But, is that really us? We walk around on egg shells trying not to offend people and to make sure we are what they want to see. We go to work and do exactly what they want us to do, even if its not our normal personalities. We lie to people to make them think that we are more impressive than we really are. We bend the truth. We all do it. 

When were in social situations, the personality relaxes. We tell inappropriate jokes and spend less time thinking about who we are supposed to be. They say the more comfortable you are around people, the more you will tease them. The more inappropriate things you will say around them, and the less you will filter. But, there is a gray area between teasing and actually bothering someone. I, personally, have never been very good at reading social cues. Sometimes I can pick on people's feelings, but usually I am pretty in the dark. If it's really obvious I will understand, but if its subtile it goes over my head. I can never tell when people actually want me to stop or when they are joking about wanting me to stop. So, I've discovered that my constant teasing isn't always welcome, and I have to watch for the point where my playful self meets my sarcastic self and filter. I am a green/orange, notorious for being ass-holes. We get inside our own heads and don't pay attention to anyone else's. 

I'm not much for apologizing. I've always thought just saying what you want to say is the best way to live, but I don't want to go around being a jerk.

So, I'm sorry if offended anyone and although I can't change, I can watch myself. 

~Noelle

Just so this post isn't just me venting my problems, here is another pic from the Shirali collection. I hope she doesn't mind these. If she does, I guess I'll apologize for that too. But, still post it, because they are enjoyable.

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DC Recap

Our DC trip began with 4 hours of sleep and a 6 hour car ride. For the most part the trip went off without a hitch. I made 6 Cds for the car ride with an interesting mix of music. Pennsylvania has very nice rest stops but they are few and far between, so we learned to limit the liquids on the ride back. Maryland had awful signage. We got to our hotel which for $70 a night was super classy. If anyone was wondering, the area around the Dunn Loring metro in Vienna has a very similar feeling to Exchange street in Akron except it is more expensive and there are no homeless people trying to get money from you. They are all in the city. 

We spent most of the trip traveling by metro, my favorite thing. My goal in life is to live somewhere with a subway. Preferably DC. I don't even care that it is expensive. I might end up back in Ohio, but I really want to live in a big city for a while. I'm a frugal person but I understand the power of location. We took the metro all over the place including the National Cathedral and the zoo. Our best story of the day revolved around a Chinese waitress demanding a tip from us. 15 percent gratuity! 2 dolla! And I can say those things because its not racist if I'm Asian too. For the record, the restaurant was called New Big Wong. It sucked and Zagat reviews will be hearing about it!

The second day was Museum/Monument Day, yes it was officially named. We saw Air and Space, Natural History, and the National Gallery of Art. The guys enjoyed the space museum, Tate enjoyed the bathroom. The art museum was Tate enjoying the art and the rest of us wanting to leave and finding the worlds derpiest paintings. Natural History was my favorite. The dinosaurs were the highlight of that museum. I really enjoyed the Genome and the Nature photo exhibits. For dinner we dined at a burrito joint called California Tortilla. It had many hot sauce varieties. The 10+ sauce lived up to its name with tears, sweat, and a lot of pop needed.

Jason's hot sauce reaction.

Dan's as well

My favorite painting, Left and Right by Winslow Homer. Although I call it Derpy Ducks.

Jason's favorite, The Skater.

By the time we saw everything, everyone was ready to go home. 3 days with the same people gets exhausting and we needed to do homework, unfortunately.

To close our Labor Day weekend, here is another great Shirali pic!

~Noelle

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Here's to Another, Better Year

“Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (...) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”

                    

       - John Green, Looking for Alaska

They say when you're a teenager, the best times in your life are yet to come. That is what fuels us. Part of living in the present is imagining a future, and sometimes wishing and working to get to the end point is better than the actual end. We use the future to justify the present, and each year that ends we hope for a better one to start. We use it to keep us going and know that the way things are now aren't how they always will be. Every year is a new start. New classes, the potential for new friends, new routine, and a step closer to whatever end game is in the future. I don't have a specific idea about what I want to do when I finish college, but the thought of having a year of college done and a year to decide what to do next is extremely daunting. When I think about each year, I think about how each year I tell myself things will get better. Not in a sad I want to kill myself way, but in a way that says I have a future, and if I don't like something now, change is always around the corner.

Today was my second day of my second year of college. It is my first year as a biology major and I have a new roommate. I was able to keep the things from last year I liked, and rid myself of the things that I knew weren't making me happy. I've been to all of my classes, and I got a week of college camp helping with Major Events Committee at school, which although I had good times I probably wouldn't do it again. I pretty much sold my soul, (and my body) to them. I did move in early though so I got my part of the deal. 7:45 Organic Chemistry seems to be part of the deal too, well a different deal. I think maybe with the devil. Curse profs who enjoy mornings.

To kick off the new year, here are some new Shirali pictures. 

Also, I've been holding out on this because it was a surprise for friend, but now he has seen it so I can post it. I made it back in July from an idea from my friend Heather (mentioned in a previous biography). I really enjoyed working on it, and am actually pretty proud of it. I come off as a science and logic personality, but I really do like the arts a lot.

So anyway, I hope this is another great year full of Enya naps, family drawings, Shirali dinners, Zee's runs, actual runs, and great people.

Here's to another, better year,

Noelle

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The Jerks of Society

Today we took the True Color test, a test that was all the buzz last year, and made a repeat appearance this year. Earlier I did a post on Myers-Briggs and this test is similar to that one. There are four colors to choose from: green, gold, blue, and orange. They have similar qualities to the Myers Briggs categories. I am curious as to what colors match up with the different Myers-Briggs types, but I think my friends already watched me geek out enough with the Myers-Briggs test with my charts and quizzing everyone who I happened to see that week. If anyone was wondering I was an ISTP. Which I think relates to the colors I got on the True Colors test. 

NURTURER BLUE

• Sensitive To Needs Of Others.
• Sincere. Expresses Appreciation.
• Cooperative. Collaborative. Creative.
• Caring. Team Builder And Player.
• People Person. Engages Others.
• Artistic. Inspirational. Spiritual.
• Inclusive. Mediator. Peacemaker.
• Idealistic. Intuitive. Romantic. Loyal.
• Seeks Unity And Harmony. Caretaker.

Famous Blues: Mozart, Dorothy (Wizard of Oz), Thomas Jefferson, Cinderella, Ghandi, Mohammed Ali, Jimmy Carter

ADVENTUROUS ORANGE

• "Just Do It" Action Oriented.
• Quick-witted, Charming, Spontaneous
• Playful. Injects fun into work.
• Lives In Here & Now. Risk taker. Creative.
• Enjoys Diversity, Variety, Competition.
• Multi-tasker, Cheerful, Energetic. Bold.
• Quick Thinking and Acting. Takes Charge.
• High Visibility Performer. Accepts Challenges.
• Enjoys Problem Solving. Negotiator.
• Performs Well Under Pressure. Resilient.

TRADITIONAL GOLD

• Respects Authority Rules, Routines, Policies.
• Alligant, Faithful, Dependable, Prepared, Efficient.
• Remembers The Traditions That Work. Values Family.
• Work Comes Before Play. Practical. Systematic. Orderly.
• Identifies With Groups. Strives For A Sense Of Security.
• Thorough, Sensible, Convential, Proper.
• A Right Way To Do Everything. Stick-To-Itivness.
• Evaluates Actions As Right Or Wrong.
• Stable. Organized. Punctual. Helpful.

Famous Golds: Mothera Teresa, George Washington, Santa Claus, LBJ, 

Joan Rivers, Henry Ford, Florence Nightingale

VISIONARY GREEN 

• Looks Forward And Sees Impact Of Actions Taken Now.
• Explores All Facets Before Deciding. Checks for Accuracy.
• Careful Planner. Enlivened By Work.
• Status Quo Buster. Designer Of Change. Inventive.
• Systematic. Logical. Theoretical. Self-Sufficient.
• Often Not In The Mainstream. Persistent. Thorough.
• Intellectual. Inquisitive. Impartial. Improvement Oriented.

Famous Greens: Socrates, Sherlock Holmes, Benjamin Franklin, Carl Jung,
Thomas Edison, Eleanor Roosevelt, Katherine Hepburn, Rosalyn Carter

After taking the test, my colors were ranked: green, orange, gold, and blue. I know these tests are supposed to help people learn about themselves and be all feely and better to others, but I just find them interesting, which is probably why I am a green. My combination green/orange is basically described as the ass holes of society. The one's who are sarcastic, but witty, and tend to put themselves before others. They are well liked but sound basically like blunt jerks. But, I suppose that is me so I'm not really too offended. Blue is definitely my last color. People skills are my weakness. I was between gold and orange as my second colors, but after green/orange was described as sarcastic jerks, and green/gold as the visionaries and best of society, I knew I was orange.

Peace out,

Noelle

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The Final Days of Summer

Well, I haven't posted in a while, mostly for lack of material worth posting. I will be heading back to school in T-minus 4 days and I am ready to go. Summer is one of those things that you wait nine months for, and then enjoy it for about 3 weeks and you're bored again. The was especially true this year because being at home meant being away from the friends I had lived with all year. Coming home meant trying to reconnect with the people and the place I so desperately wanted to leave. Don't get my wrong, I had my good times in high school as well as my bad, but somehow the bad seems to be what I remember. Anyway, for the most part, I have spent the last 3 months working, watching netflix, and hanging around doing nothing. I started the summer being a little more social, but as the summer stretched on, the number of people I hung out with dwindled as well as my motivation to try to stay in touch with them. I think when we finished high school, we were tired of one another, and have spent the summer tolerating each other in small doses. I have a few people I've stayed relatively close with and enjoy a bi-weekly trip to Starbucks and Wal-mart. These are the only places open past nine in our lovely town.

I'm packing for school and my room is a disaster area. It always seems like so much stuff. With leaving for school comes the prospect of living arrangements for the following year. I feel like that is a budding fight. My mom is already being weird about it. Anyone want to share a room with me in a potential apartment in 2014? Weirdos need not apply.

A little business plug, or unplug. Don't try to sell your books to Books in Stock in Wooster, Ohio. They give you no money and then you need to drive 45 minutes there to get your books back

I've been toying with different career ideas all summer. My latest and, according to most people, best idea is Anesthesiologist  Assistant. For all I know I'll be on to something completely different next month but I think this could work out. I'm just freaked out because I would need to take the MCAT, and after my experience with the ACT anxiety in high school I don't feel too great about that prospect. But, I guess we all need to face our fears and next time I will know and hopefully will be better prepared to tackle the anxiety at test time. I am also not thrilled with the idea of retaking Chemistry II, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

We've also been planning a DC trip, which started out a bit of a secret but at this point is pretty much public knowledge. It was interesting getting people to come, and although our persuasion skills were great, the trip will be a small group of six staying and wandering around the city for a weekend on $200. Wish us luck!

Well, that was my summer. Hope yours all went well. And for those of you I will see at school soon, I can't wait!

Noelle

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Back by Popular Demand

Another biography! Because my friends like being made fun of in writing (in a good way of course).

Next up on my list of friends is Heather, or Fairs, or Bairns as everyone has taken to calling her.

Heather was born a poor black child...okay not really but she sometimes tries to make us believe that with her stories of her work as an illegal worker in a ghetto daycare. Not to incriminate my friends or anything.

Okay, redo.

Heather, Fairs, Bairns, the baby of the group was born in the great state of Ohio. Known affectionately, as the mom of the group, she is known for keeping children in line and waking them up when it is too late to be sleeping and still be civilized. (For the record that time is12pm, and yes that is every weekend). Heather is a student at the University of Akron majoring in chemical engineering, in the hopes of one day obtaining a Ph.D teaching engineering at at a university herself. As a youngester, Heather was educated in her home with her three brothers; however, she spent one year in real school, which she constantly reminds those who make fun of her homeschool social skills. In her spare time, Heather enjoys reading, listening to christian music, watching PG rated movies, and keeping her fellow college friends in line.

~Noelle

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Innate Curiousity

There are two types of innate curiosity in this world, there is the type that people look for, the type that invents things, and wants to discover a better, and then there is the nosy type. If one more person asks me where I'm from and if I speak Chinese I am going to smack them in face. I know sometimes they are just curious but the look on their faces after I say no I don't know Chinese and no I have nothing to share with you culturally pisses me the hell off. People who are Chinese give you that oh so you're not really chinese with their I'm better than you attitudes and the people that aren't just look disappointed. So maybe we can avoid all this and people can just mind their own damn business.

I had a mini realization today, but then I realized my realization is pointless, and now I'm just sort of sad. I've been playing with graphic design a little bit the last few days because a friend was interested in making a poster, and I get really into that sort of thing. But, if you have a weird, slightly artsy project you want done, even as a joke, I'm your girl. I'm actually pretty proud of this poster, but its a surprise for someone who may or may not be reading this, so it must remain hidden. But, if you have a weird, slightly artsy project you want done, even as a joke, I'm your girl. All through high school I wanted to be a graphic designer, however,  I sort of shoved it away because it was my least practical career musing. Why would anyone encourage me to be a graphic designer when I can do math, if you can do math and science all of your less lucrative loves are pushed aside. I wanted to take some graphic design classes in high school, but it got in the way of AP classes, and I did music so that took my "fun" period during the day. Anyhow, I looked at my college's website and basically I would have to start from scratch it I were to switch my major, and I wouldn't graduate on time, for a major that has really competitive employment and at best will make be 40k.

They say that if you pick a job that will pay well, you can use that money to pursue the dreams you neglected because of practicality. But the forget to mention that by the time you reach this point in your life you have other obligations. You will have the job you weren't sure you wanted and a family who will hopefully rank higher than your childhood dreams.

A quick Shirali pic update courtesy of Jahnavi

I went to a movie party last night. Stayed up til 3:30 am talking to a friend, and got my nails painted. It's the girliest I've been all month.

~Noelle

A late side note. Since I can't publish the poster, here's some wallpaper I made.

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Some Summer Reads

There really isn't anything to update about though. I just noticed I haven't posted in a while. My summer has been rather uneventful the past 2 weeks. The highlight of my day was finding a coupon for $7.99 large pizzas at Dominos. They were delicious by the way.

The weather is getting nicer, although its been a little chilly for the summer. The summer sort of came early though. I'm used to being in school through the 2nd week of June. Work has been unexciting, but I basically am paid to do inventory, check stuff out, and then read books. I read two kids books yesterday and 3/4 of a teen book today. We're right next to the kids section so I just walk over and grab whatever looks interesting, or what I recognize from childhood. One of the books I picked up yesterday was called The Pinballs by Betsy Byars. It was my first "heavy" book. I think I was 8 when I read it. It's about these 3 kids in a foster home. The girl was beat by her step father, the older boy had his legs run over by a car by his drunk father, and the younger boy was abandoned by his mother and lived with a pair of old ladies, but then they died. The boy with the broken legs sinks into depression and the girl is really bitchy. It's a really good book though I read it a lot when I was little.

I'm really getting desperate for material here. Reviewing children's' books. A few other good books for anyone bored this summer who still reads this. 

It's Kind of a Funny Story, one of my favorite books I read in high school. I felt like I related a lot to the character. Craig's thoughts pretty much summarized my thoughts, the good and the bad.

Another good teen book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I read it before it was popular for anyone that was wondering. I think it was 8th or 9th grade.

One last teen book, anything John Green is good (well except wasn't a fan of Abundance of Katherines, but that could just be me). The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Towns, are good too.

And for something thats not another teen book about depression, I had a bit of a theme through high school, Ready Player One. One of my favorites from last summer. Its sort of a geeky dystopian society novel, but were all a little geeky, right?

Since dystopian novels are all the rage right now I also want to say Hunger Games, The Legend Trilogy, and The Divergent Trilogy are also excellent. Maze Runner I found a bit disappointing. I also just finished a Jodi Picoult book. She's a bit of a guilty pleasure author. I'm usually not into literature that is aimed more towards the female gender, but I always read her. Nineteen Minutes and House Rules were my favorites. Just finished The Storyteller. Don't read The Pact unless you want to be pissed at the characters for most of it.

Anyway, hope is having a great summer.

~Noelle

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Home Again, Home Again, and a little about me...and Tate

I went to Minnesota for the long weekend. I hit the twin cities, Carleton college, and Rochester. I didn't realize how many people my family knew in Minnesota. We stayed at a friend's house and then traveled all over from there. I saw my best friend from childhood, who goes to Carleton College in Northfield. Tuition is a grand 54k a year and no one chooses majors until they're finishing their sophomore year. I suppose that's what happens in liberal arts colleges. I go to a state university where tuition is less and they want you to know everything you want the moment you step in the door, a philosophy that I find to be utter bullshit. No one knows what they want at the age of eighteen. I wish they gave us more time to explore and decide what we like, but if I want to do that I have to pay $54,000 a year, so I guess I'm stuck making uneducated decisions about my future. I just hope I don't end up suicidal at 40 because of my choice at eighteen. Also in Northfield, is a store that sells very good olive oil and vinegar. 

This week has been a lot of visiting with older relatives, something that is sometimes fun at most of the time just is really awkward. You have to laugh, or you'll end up crying, right? I really don't want to get old. Maybe life can take me out at 60 and I don't have to do the whole dementia thing, or if I do I hope I at least get to keep my sense of humor.

Either way, Minnesota was fun. It's nice to get away from Ohio for a while, even if they're pretty much the same place.

In a previous post, I wrote a biography for my friend Madison, and she so graciously wrote one for me as well.

Noelle is now a Biology major at the University of Akron. If you had asked her two months ago, she would have answered she was a Biomedical Engineer, part of the 80% of other Honors students who are studying engineering. However, Noelle decided to buck the trend and try something new. Since Noelle is no longer an engineer, she is not a member of any engineering clubs such as Eureka Honors Engineering or Women in Engineering. She enjoys procrastination, playing guitar, doing stuff on her computer, writing blog posts, and taking bad pictures of her friend Shirali, among other things. Noelle 'Wonder Woman' is known by other names, including 'The Asian,' 'Yun, and 'No Wiser.' To learn more about Noelle, visit her at her blog, her home, or her dorm.

Due to the popularity of the Madison post, I promised my friend Tate I would write her a bio too.

Taylor, or more often known as Tate, grew up in the harsh suburban streets of Massillon Ohio. As a child she enjoyed Star Wars, playing pretend, and running away from home with macaroni & cheese boxes in hand. Through her angsty teen years she enjoyed such bands as My Chemical Romance, and more My Chemical Romance. She also enjoyed a hippy phase, courtesy of a seventh grade English teacher. She has just finished her first year of college at the University of Akron. She is unsure of her major and has thought of everything from education to law to social work. In her free time Tate enjoys writing, reading, more writing, and watching Netflix. She currently splits her time between the city of Akron and her family home in Massillon. She has one brother, one boyfriend, and two dogs. 

~Noelle

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Well it Had to Happen Eventually

My grades finally came in. I got an A in everything but Chemistry, where I got a C. A C that sent me into a five minute freak out, and question my whole college life, because that's what I do, I freak out. This is a side that people outside of my family rarely see from me. I am always referred to as the calm one, the one who doesn't freak out, the one with the least amount of emotion to show. But, I still have my moments.

Getting this C has made me reflect on the way things have been for me the last 14 years. This is first C I've ever gotten, ever, since kindergarten, unless you count the minus I received in skipping, but I don't think anyone does. My kindergarten teacher might. She pulled my mom in for a parent teacher conference about it and my mom just laughed and taught me how to skip at home. I was a bit of a Wiz kid in elementary school, but the people I was up against weren't anything worth comparing too. Not offense to them, but it was an inner city school and there was none of that Kumon crap or any of those montessori kindergartens. My parents read to me as a kid, and I liked books, as all my friends know from a trip to Books-A-Million where I pointed out every book in the store I read as a child. Basically, I could have just pointed to the whole children's section. I had a lot of free time when I was a kid. Then, I went to a high school where someone with a 3.8 could be ranked in the hundreds. That's a rich suburb school for you. Now, the kids I go to college with honors students. Students that have never even gotten a B before. That were valedictorians of their high schools and have won awards. For the most part, I've always been in smart company.

But, anyway, its my first C, and its in a class that actually matters for my major. I got A's in all my engineering classes but the only biology related class I got a C. This freaks me out, this makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing. This sends my head into a tilt, but then I get talked down. Usually by my mother. She's always the one who does it. I hardly ever cry anymore, but for some reason when I'm with my mom I just lose it. It's always been that way. She is also the person I can get the angriest at. I guess if you feel like someone is going to love you anyway, you can just let loose and not worry about the consequences. The people you love the most are always the people you treat the worst, because you know they will still like you when you've calmed down.

Well, thats my rant, turned awkward. I just wanted to write something.

~Noelle

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Meet Madison

So last night my friend Madison sent me a text asking me to write her a biography for her blog. So I took it upon myself to write one. I think it's pretty spot on. So I decided just in case she doesn't actually use it on her blog, I can post it here to be saved for all eternity.

An award winning cheesecake baker, published author, EMT, and honors student, Madison is one of many talents. Her schooling began at her kitchen table and today she is a student at the University of Akron studying biology with minors in both chemistry and dance. She hopes to one day be an emergency room physician. Madison is active on campus and is a member of honors club (free food club), honors delegates, the AK Rowdies, Phi Delta Epsilon (medical fraternity) and campus focus (bible/rock band church club). Madison loves Jesus, but tries not to be too in your face about it. When she is not doing this weeks homework, she does the following weeks homework, attempts to play soccer, hangs with her friends, and goes to bed by 9 pm.

I figured since I have no Shirali eating pictures this week, I can at least use a picture of Madison with Shirali in it. (Madison is the one second from the left.)

I am also freaking out because I got an A in physics. I had to check it six times to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. I don't even know how that happened when I'm pretty sure I left a 9 point question blank on the final. There must have been a huge ass curve, but no complaints here. Now if only my Chemistry grade would post. I have a feeling I won't be as happy about that grade.

Summer so far has been alright. I'm basically just working, watching netflix and hanging out with my family. I leave for Minnesota on Thursday, a state where people only go if they have family. Weird part is, it's warmer there than it is here.

~Noelle

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Have a nice life

Well, this is my last post as a freshman. My first year at college is coming to a close. I took my last final and started packing up my room. I have so much stuff, and I dont know where I am going to put it all when I get home. I still need to wash dishes, take down posters, and return borrowed items. My roommate moved out this morning at the ungodly hour of 6:30 am, and checked out at 9:30. She left a bunch of random stuff here and didn't say a word to me. I'm sort of ticked I didn't even get a goodbye. Well, have a nice life.

I'm pretty sure I am going to sleep in my clothes tonight because I am fairly certain I packed my pajamas. I literally have a box of food, I am that big of a food hoarder. I drew a picture on a friends mirror that will be erased. I'm a little sad about that...

We walked the campus tonight. A little about our fair town of Akron, Ohio. Rubber. Well, thats the end of that story. It's really not too bad though, but its the only place I've ever known. 

Also, one last Shirali post for this school year, along with my last meal photo. No more Rob's for 3 months. Can't complain about that one.

Well, goodnight all

~Noelle

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Do it with passion, or not at all

I've been thinking about passion and avoiding studying for my final final. I am absolutely terrible at physics, and the fact that it is irrelevant, or at least this version is irrelevant, to a biology major isn't helping my motivation. I also have a group paper due for my biomedical engineering class and no one has sent me their parts. Well, if I don't have them Wednesday night, its not getting turned in. It's not my departments anymore, its not my major, and the class is worth nothing to me anymore

I really wish I had a passion. I watch all these people that know exactly what they want and have plans to get there, and here I am flailing around trying to figure it out. I switched my major and picked one based on an interest in high school and the thought that it could be useful. I have no clue if its something I can be passionate about. I've never had a talent that made anyone take notice, or make me think that I'm good enough to have a future with it. Maybe I can't be passionate about anything. My interests include messing around the computer and playing the guitar. Neither of things are any different than anyone else's interests and aren't passion. I think I think too much to find a passion. I'm over thinking it. Or maybe everyone with passion is under thinking it. Sometimes I would just love to go blindly into something I think will make me happy and not think about the money. But I'd need to find that passion first, and I'd need to shut my brain up.

"If you're suddenly doing something you don't want to do for four years, just so you've got something to fall back on, by the time you come out you don't have that 16-year-old drive any more and you'll spend your life doing something you never wanted to do in the first place."
 - Ewan McGregor

I don't want to pick a career and find out I have no passion for it, that I hate it, and that I have wasted all my drive on it. I feel like I'm beginning the process of settling. That we all are. Everyone is in everything for the money. Like engineering. I know very few people who actually want to do it for it for the right reasons. Everyone is concerned with the money and the title and the prestige of calling themselves an engineer. In the words of a 2nd floor friend, "When you become an engineer you get a lab coat and a false sense of superiority." I guess that's how a lot of jobs are. Doctors, lawyers, business people, everyone is into everything for the money and I don't want to be that person.

"There is only one passion, the passion for happiness"
- Denis Diderot

We all just want to be happy, right?

Now that I am done with that, time for the Shirali part of this post. She is not amused.

Tomorrow is my last final, and Friday I leave for home. It's going to be weird to be back, but I think its time. I'm ready to be done for now.

~Noelle

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5/09/2013

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The Craftsman

I've spent the whole week super fascinated by the Myers Briggs test. Well that and being miserable from allergies. At least the A/C finally kicked on so I can shut the windows. Hopefully the roommate doesn't mind but I'm about to lose of mind. I also have final exams coming up, so this week is going to be awful. However, it is the last week of my freshman year, so thats a good accomplishment.

Anyway, I tested a bunch of my friends because I've been trying to decide what I should do with my life. My result was ISTP - the craftsman. My traits include: Critical, Detached, Guarded, Independent, and Resourceful. I also am among the people who most frequently have cardiac problems, don't finish college, and are dissatisfied with their relationships. I'm not sure if I like this type...My career types include: skilled trades, technical fields, agriculture, law enforcement, and military occupations. I think its funny it wants me to be in law enforcement and the military. I have been thinking about forensic science again though.

My friends all got interesting results too. Most were pretty easily pegged. The "mom's" of the group got teachers and supervisors, the emotional types got healer and counselor, and the quiet ones mastermind and architect. We had a lot more visionaries and teachers than average, hardly any of the types that are supposed to have the most. I had a handy chart because yes, I am that geeky.

I also got another great pic of Shirali. This has become a weekly thing. I'm going to miss it when I go home for summer. I'm going to miss everyone, but I think we could all use a break from each other. We've seen a lot more of each other as the stress has piled on, and it's beginning to take its toll. But stress is the true test of friendship, right? I really like them all though. College would suck without them.

~Noelle

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