November 2, 2014

The Five Person Principle

When it comes to people and friend making I have one basic observation. It is only possible to establish, build, and maintain five true friendships at any given time. This number can differ, give or take one or two, but for the most part five seems to be the most reasonable number. These people are the most trusted, most valued, and life changing. Maybe this thought makes me a cynic, or unpopular, but if acquaintances, hangouts, drinking buddies, classmates, coworkers are taken out of the friendship mix, then there leaves only five. 

Of these five people, two will remain stagnant. One is a best friend, probably someone from grade school. The second another longtime friend. The first can potentially be a significant other, but this is up for debate. I think they belong in a realm of their own, but they can also be counted in the five. The stagnant two aren't always around, but when they return, it's like they never left. Then there are three people that are fluid. These people are the people you see on a regular basis who are there to help in times of need. They are trusted, and important, but can change. The fluid three are not going to be the same people now as they were a year ago, nor as they will be a year from now. 

The thing about the five person rule is those fluid three become important. They are the people who are available to give advice and to confide in face to face due to their proximity. However these people change. They come and go without real warning or notice. They are the people who at one point are the extremely important, and then suddenly onto the next phase of their lives. Life happens and people move on, but it's crazy to know that the people who are the most important now, may not even be a thought five years, and will be replaced. 

Maybe I am wrong about this theory, but I find it to be true. My static two are the same and probably have been for the last five years. My fluid three have changed since last semester. The problem with fluid friends is that when they go, there is a bit of a feeling of loss. There is a feeling of trying to hold onto something that was meant to change. But everything changes. It's just weird to think that people who knew everything about me 6 months ago, know nothing about me know. I know people are going to come and go, but I have never been particularly good at dealing with it.