Pascal's Wager

I suppose I should make a disclaimer, I've been in an odd mood lately and my posts haven't been as fun as usual. I really actually do like writing, I thought I would say that. I got the okay to post this from the roommate, but I don't want anyone to think I'm weird or anything so I thought I'd say something.


If you believe in God and he exists, the possibilities are infinite, and if you believe in God and he doesn't exist, you have lost nothing. With this logic, it would be foolish the refute religion. I just haven't placed my bet yet.

I haven't really thought about religion in a while, but then I went to the Judgement House, and the title is fitting, I definitely felt judged. The house was supposed to be a Christian version of a haunted house, but it turned out to be an ambush. This was through no fault of the guy who invited us, but the church that presented the house. At the end of our walkthrough drama, we were split into groups of three to talk about our faith. We didn't pick our groups very well, and I was in a group with two Hindu's. The only two Christians by this churches standards were in the same group. So anyway, the man who spoke to me and my two companions was nice and meant well, but did in no way, shape, or form make me want to be "saved." The group of us going to this house was very diverse, from Hindu's to Protestants to Catholics to people with no beliefs at all, and everyone left uncomfortable.

I don't want to put all of my views on Christianity in the hands of this one church, but its experiences like that one that make me not want a religion at all. It's people who believe that everyone who doesn't believe exactly what they believe are going to hell. It's the thought that people can do great things and be great people and still go to hell for not thinking Jesus is their personal savior. What kind of loving God would send a good soul to hell when they were a good person. This is my main gripe with Christianity. I have friends of many religions and never in a heartbeat would I think any of them were going to hell.

My parent's sort of dropped the ball of the religion front. My mom believes that I should make my own choices regarding religion but then is angry when I don't accept her protestant views. When I was a kid I thought I was going to hell for not being baptized, I was the awkward kid in Sunday School who couldn't take communion. Then as I got older, I felt like church was another place where I was Asian trying to be white. I wonder sometimes how religious my friends would be if they weren't indoctrinated into it when they were children. Would they still make the same choices? Organized religion just has a great ability to make me feel uncomfortable. But, it gives so many people hope. It makes so many people feel like their lives are worth living, which is worth more than anything.

So, I'm still sort of searching for it. Whatever it is. It has to be something. That missing feeling people say they feel, I can feel it. And I'm trying to keep an open mind so hopefully one day I will find whatever is supposed to fill that void.