American Good

Think about the last time you greeted someone. Did you ask them how they were? What did they reply with? Good. Good, that’s what I thought. Were they actually good? Probably not. 

Last semester I got in an elevator with the girl who I now share a dorm room with, and I asked her how she was, the common question to avoid awkward elevator silence. And her answer definitely alleviated the silence. I was told I was just asking to be polite, and that I didn’t really care. I had no defense to this accusation, because it was absolutely true. 

Today I was in the hallway with a friend who is Hungarian and she asked me how I was. I replied with the generic good. She asked was I good or American good? 

We're all American good. We say it to move on. We ask how people are, but we don’t actually care. We make pleasantries, but we’re not actually interested in the answer. I do it, you do it, we all do it. But, if you want to tell me how your day is actually going, I will listen to it. I can’t guarantee I will react the way you want me too, but I’ll listen. 

I’ve been wanting to write a blog post all week, but haven’t really known what to say. This week has not been my week to share. When I think about it, blogs are pretty narcissistic, I’m just sitting here writing about myself. Like my life is interesting enough to warrant writing about myself. That and avoiding studying for a test on a subject of which I am losing interest. It's really hard to like something you're not good at. So here I am, at another biology test that I will try to use to decide my fate, except this time my motivation to do well on it is gone. My most rational friend thinks I should switch majors, maybe that is a sign.

I haven't posted a good Shirali picture in a while. So here it is for your enjoyment. I figure I need to get off my serious blog post kick.

That winter weather.

 Oh and Dominick if he were gay. We really wanted to go steal a viola for him.

~Noelle

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Pascal's Wager

I suppose I should make a disclaimer, I've been in an odd mood lately and my posts haven't been as fun as usual. I really actually do like writing, I thought I would say that. I got the okay to post this from the roommate, but I don't want anyone to think I'm weird or anything so I thought I'd say something.


If you believe in God and he exists, the possibilities are infinite, and if you believe in God and he doesn't exist, you have lost nothing. With this logic, it would be foolish the refute religion. I just haven't placed my bet yet.

I haven't really thought about religion in a while, but then I went to the Judgement House, and the title is fitting, I definitely felt judged. The house was supposed to be a Christian version of a haunted house, but it turned out to be an ambush. This was through no fault of the guy who invited us, but the church that presented the house. At the end of our walkthrough drama, we were split into groups of three to talk about our faith. We didn't pick our groups very well, and I was in a group with two Hindu's. The only two Christians by this churches standards were in the same group. So anyway, the man who spoke to me and my two companions was nice and meant well, but did in no way, shape, or form make me want to be "saved." The group of us going to this house was very diverse, from Hindu's to Protestants to Catholics to people with no beliefs at all, and everyone left uncomfortable.

I don't want to put all of my views on Christianity in the hands of this one church, but its experiences like that one that make me not want a religion at all. It's people who believe that everyone who doesn't believe exactly what they believe are going to hell. It's the thought that people can do great things and be great people and still go to hell for not thinking Jesus is their personal savior. What kind of loving God would send a good soul to hell when they were a good person. This is my main gripe with Christianity. I have friends of many religions and never in a heartbeat would I think any of them were going to hell.

My parent's sort of dropped the ball of the religion front. My mom believes that I should make my own choices regarding religion but then is angry when I don't accept her protestant views. When I was a kid I thought I was going to hell for not being baptized, I was the awkward kid in Sunday School who couldn't take communion. Then as I got older, I felt like church was another place where I was Asian trying to be white. I wonder sometimes how religious my friends would be if they weren't indoctrinated into it when they were children. Would they still make the same choices? Organized religion just has a great ability to make me feel uncomfortable. But, it gives so many people hope. It makes so many people feel like their lives are worth living, which is worth more than anything.

So, I'm still sort of searching for it. Whatever it is. It has to be something. That missing feeling people say they feel, I can feel it. And I'm trying to keep an open mind so hopefully one day I will find whatever is supposed to fill that void.

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Mid-Semester Crisis

It's funny how we use numbers for everything. How a series of numbers is all the world needs to judge a persons worth. And with numbers, comes tests. When you're born you're weighed and measured in length, toes and fingers are counted, and you even take your first test and given an Apgar score. Then you grow older and they test you in school, and the first thing they tell you when you get to kindergarten is that you have to pass the first grade writing test, and then when you pass that they start to obsess about the fourth grade tests. So much that the biggest insult a teacher can give you is the notion that you're too stupid to pass them. These tests can cause a teacher to break down in front of you telling an entire group of third graders that they're too stupid to pass a test. Then you get to high school where tests start to have a little more weight. Each week in every subject they test you on the weeks lessons. You memorize and memorize but never actually learn anything because the moment the test is over your brain hits delete to prepare for the next weeks material. Then you rinse and repeat for the next four years. Then comes the college admissions tests where one number can determine where you go to school, and how much money the college thinks you are worth when they give out scholarships. And through it all there is that great number out of 4.0 that everyone is trying to reach. Then grad school with another entrance exam with another score. These numbers dictate our lives. If we let them.

I'm trying not to, but I've been having a bit of a mid-semester crisis this week. I received a C on my first biology test, and although that isn't failing, its "honors failing." And if my course grade is a C I'm going to have to cut my losses and try another major.  I really don't want to change again, and its really more out of pride than love for the subject. I don't want to be the kid that messes around all of college and can't figure anything out, and I don't want to piss off my parents. I really like college and socially it is 100% better than high school ever was, but academically I feel like I'm not getting it. This, however, has been a huge eye opener to my study skills, or lack there of. I am not going to be one of those naturally smart people, I am going to be one of those people who has to work at it. I just have to decide what's worth working at. Lately, I've thinking about majoring in psychology, but I feel like psych is a serious cop out major. Not that I think the subject is a waste, but everyone else does. And I don't want to do what I did with bio and jump into it to find out I'm not very good at it. But, I do like it, and I'm over here geeking out to a spreadsheet full of my friends personality tests. Interests, though, don't pay bills. 

So, I'm gonna spend the rest of the semester trying my best and hoping my best is good enough, and if it isn't I guess I have to make decisions. No one is perfect. I just want to say that to everyone I've been listening to freak out about they're grades lately. That and offer them my C to dry the tears from their A-. No one is perfect, and as long as you feel like you're doing what you can, there is nothing else that can be done. Accept the things that can't be changed, change the things that can be, and know the difference between the two, or you will drive yourself insane. Enjoy your life, because sometimes things aren't meant to be, and if it isn't meant to be, there will be something else to take it's place.

~Noelle

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Another Ramble

Well, I haven't actually written in a while. This seems to be how I begin every post because I keep forgetting to post. I guess the initial excitement of having this blog has worn off, but it did have a good run. Also, I'm pretty sure my reader base is just 3 people in my dorm building, and all the other hits are those weird blog crawler sites in Russia. Every sketchy thing on the internet seems to stem from Russia. I do like posting though even if its just for my own  enjoyment.

In other news the government is back up and running again. I'm not really sure where I stand on Obamacare. I watched a video about it today and the guy had me until he started ranting about how sick people shouldn't get to have health insurance because then the healthy people have to pay for them and I rage quit the whole thing. If only healthy people had health insurance, there would be no point of it even existing. Sorry, religion and politics...not polite blog conversation.

I've been thinking lately that its weird that in one day I can be incredibly sad and then in a great mood four hours later. I've been spending a lot of time in a bubble where getting a C on a test is  failing, everyone measures their worth by their grades, and homework will always come first, no matter what. We joke about it and I know this is college and school is the most important thing at this point in our lives but sometimes the whole thing just makes me sad. The entire thing, the school, the future. Well, sorry about that. I guess I shouldn't post out of work boredom about my inadequacies.

I was supposed to collect good quotes from my friends this week to put in this post but I have failed at that task. But instead of a Shirali picture, there will be a Shirali quote.

"You come out a grade-A doctor from Cuba!"

That's all I ever really needed to know.

Also I told my friends if they get into medical school, I'll buy them a baseball cap for the team of their new residence. Unless they stay here in Cleveland, then they can keep using the stuff they have, I'm not made of money. Only 50% of the people I know will make it to med school too, so hopefully that can keep the cost down. Oh and I have to bring cream puffs to a friends wedding in 2020. I really need to stop offering to buy people things. Maybe I should start a fund.

By the way, this is my new favorite song. I thought I would share.

~Noelle

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Let's Pick Up Where We Left Off

I realized that it has been three weeks since I've made a blog post and since I had three tests today I have no homework (due tomorrow) so here goes.

To recap the last three weeks of my life:

1. There is now has a vine called Shirali Y Eats. Check it out. Its almost as good as the Shirali pics.

2. The Arctic Monkeys and Grouplove both released new albums that I will be listening to when I get off work tonight. Also the Catching Fire movie soundtrack list is out and it looks really good.

3. I had my first biology test and I can't figure out whether or not I think I did well. I think I spent more time in line to turn the test in than I did actually taking the test. Also the dude in front of me was wearing his shirt backwards. It was a v-neck.

(My evernote just cut out in the middle of this post, and I was very sad)

4. Everyone is a stress monkey this semester because were sophomores and we have more homework. I've been watching to see which Chem-E's will go up in flames. I hope they prove me wrong, and then make me delicious chemically engineered food when they work for Coke. There is only a 10% graduation rate though, so I think my bets are safe.

5. I don't hate my roommate but I can't make a judgement call until October, I guess that's a thing, but I think she'll pass the test. Our room is pretty chill.

6. I started running again and I'm gonna do a 5K with some friends. Well, sorta do it. Our time probably won't be too hot but its the thought that counts...or maybe that only works with unwanted gifts. Eh.

7. I figured out my life with my friend Madison. It involved me taking 12 credits this summer. Bye, bye life and money I hardly knew you. Seriously I hardly did because college is a huge money hole. Hopefully it pays off because seriously so much money, and I go to a public school. I'm sobbing for the people paying 50k a year right now.

8. We are almost done with our fifth week in the semester which is a bit mind blowing. The fall semester seems to go really fast, and then spring just drags on for about 20 years.

9. The new Divergent book, Allegiant is coming out on October 22 and I don't have any tests the next day. Win. Additionally no Org. Chem Test the day Catching Fire comes out. Another win.

10. I went to my first Indians game and they actually won.

I also thought I would explain my obsession with TV shows. When I was in high school I watched TV religiously. I had a schedule every night of the week, and when I came to college I had friends so I stopped doing that. Anyway, this week has been TV premiere week and I am missing Grey's Anatomy right now because I am at work and I am a little salty about that. I did watch last weeks Bones episode today. The writing on that show has just tanked. It used to be my favorite show, but it might have moved its way down to 4th place and now I am going to need to change my security question answers. Parenthood starts tonight too. I channel my inner old person when I watch that show. Whenever I bring it up everyone always tells me their moms watch it. For pilots this year I'm gonna try Blacklist, Trophy Wife, Hostages, The Michael J Fox Show, and Welcome to the Family. It will probably be November before I actually watch them though because there is no time ever to do anything but homework and sleeping.

Well, that was my ramble to kill time at work.

Noelle

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The Line

The social line of appropriateness is a thin and pale line. We're all tiptoeing around it trying to decipher the reaction of others and do what we feel is the best thing for the situation. We spend our whole lives trying to show our best face and make sure that people see what they want to. But, is that really us? We walk around on egg shells trying not to offend people and to make sure we are what they want to see. We go to work and do exactly what they want us to do, even if its not our normal personalities. We lie to people to make them think that we are more impressive than we really are. We bend the truth. We all do it. 

When were in social situations, the personality relaxes. We tell inappropriate jokes and spend less time thinking about who we are supposed to be. They say the more comfortable you are around people, the more you will tease them. The more inappropriate things you will say around them, and the less you will filter. But, there is a gray area between teasing and actually bothering someone. I, personally, have never been very good at reading social cues. Sometimes I can pick on people's feelings, but usually I am pretty in the dark. If it's really obvious I will understand, but if its subtile it goes over my head. I can never tell when people actually want me to stop or when they are joking about wanting me to stop. So, I've discovered that my constant teasing isn't always welcome, and I have to watch for the point where my playful self meets my sarcastic self and filter. I am a green/orange, notorious for being ass-holes. We get inside our own heads and don't pay attention to anyone else's. 

I'm not much for apologizing. I've always thought just saying what you want to say is the best way to live, but I don't want to go around being a jerk.

So, I'm sorry if offended anyone and although I can't change, I can watch myself. 

~Noelle

Just so this post isn't just me venting my problems, here is another pic from the Shirali collection. I hope she doesn't mind these. If she does, I guess I'll apologize for that too. But, still post it, because they are enjoyable.

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DC Recap

Our DC trip began with 4 hours of sleep and a 6 hour car ride. For the most part the trip went off without a hitch. I made 6 Cds for the car ride with an interesting mix of music. Pennsylvania has very nice rest stops but they are few and far between, so we learned to limit the liquids on the ride back. Maryland had awful signage. We got to our hotel which for $70 a night was super classy. If anyone was wondering, the area around the Dunn Loring metro in Vienna has a very similar feeling to Exchange street in Akron except it is more expensive and there are no homeless people trying to get money from you. They are all in the city. 

We spent most of the trip traveling by metro, my favorite thing. My goal in life is to live somewhere with a subway. Preferably DC. I don't even care that it is expensive. I might end up back in Ohio, but I really want to live in a big city for a while. I'm a frugal person but I understand the power of location. We took the metro all over the place including the National Cathedral and the zoo. Our best story of the day revolved around a Chinese waitress demanding a tip from us. 15 percent gratuity! 2 dolla! And I can say those things because its not racist if I'm Asian too. For the record, the restaurant was called New Big Wong. It sucked and Zagat reviews will be hearing about it!

The second day was Museum/Monument Day, yes it was officially named. We saw Air and Space, Natural History, and the National Gallery of Art. The guys enjoyed the space museum, Tate enjoyed the bathroom. The art museum was Tate enjoying the art and the rest of us wanting to leave and finding the worlds derpiest paintings. Natural History was my favorite. The dinosaurs were the highlight of that museum. I really enjoyed the Genome and the Nature photo exhibits. For dinner we dined at a burrito joint called California Tortilla. It had many hot sauce varieties. The 10+ sauce lived up to its name with tears, sweat, and a lot of pop needed.

Jason's hot sauce reaction.

Dan's as well

My favorite painting, Left and Right by Winslow Homer. Although I call it Derpy Ducks.

Jason's favorite, The Skater.

By the time we saw everything, everyone was ready to go home. 3 days with the same people gets exhausting and we needed to do homework, unfortunately.

To close our Labor Day weekend, here is another great Shirali pic!

~Noelle

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