There is this thing called detachment. It is talked about in
preparation for a big change. They always say when kids leave for
college they spend the summer fighting with their families to make it
easier to leave them. And its also when you lose personal investment and
emotion, when you quit caring. Detachment has multiple definitions, and
two of them describe this week to a T.
This seems to happen every semester. The end comes just as motivation starts to dwindle. Here I am piled high with tests, projects, and finals, and I can't seem to make myself care. I know that I need A's on everything, as usual. I know that my grades aren't where they should be, as usual. I know that I can work as hard as I want and all the effort could be for nothing. I know that I just want to be done with school and that this has been a very long 15 weeks. I know that I have to keep going for two more weeks, but I'm starting to lack emotion and personal interest. Sometimes I don't know if I ever had it.
The act of separating yourself from the people you've spent the last two years of your life living with, the act of separating yourself from the building you've lived in for the last two years, the act of becoming the first definition to cope with the second one. Yesterday I spent the whole day thinking someone was mad at me. I couldn't figure out why, and I spent the whole day stewing over what I was going to say, and do, and then when it came down to it nothing happened. She wasn't mad, and everything was fine. I feel like I'm more quick to anger lately. I feel like everyone is. We're all on edge from the workload and thought of change, and with everyone leaving, it's easier to be mad. It's hard to miss someone you are mad at. So maybe I'm okay with anger directed at me. Then I can be mad without it being my fault, and it makes it a little easier to leave.
We're hitting the homestretch with only two weeks left. We can do this. We have to.
Good Luck This Week and Next,
Noelle
de·tach·ment
noun \di-ˈtach-mənt, dē-\
:lack of emotion or of personal interest
This seems to happen every semester. The end comes just as motivation starts to dwindle. Here I am piled high with tests, projects, and finals, and I can't seem to make myself care. I know that I need A's on everything, as usual. I know that my grades aren't where they should be, as usual. I know that I can work as hard as I want and all the effort could be for nothing. I know that I just want to be done with school and that this has been a very long 15 weeks. I know that I have to keep going for two more weeks, but I'm starting to lack emotion and personal interest. Sometimes I don't know if I ever had it.
de·tach·ment
noun \di-ˈtach-mənt, dē-\
: the act or process of separating something from a larger thing
The act of separating yourself from the people you've spent the last two years of your life living with, the act of separating yourself from the building you've lived in for the last two years, the act of becoming the first definition to cope with the second one. Yesterday I spent the whole day thinking someone was mad at me. I couldn't figure out why, and I spent the whole day stewing over what I was going to say, and do, and then when it came down to it nothing happened. She wasn't mad, and everything was fine. I feel like I'm more quick to anger lately. I feel like everyone is. We're all on edge from the workload and thought of change, and with everyone leaving, it's easier to be mad. It's hard to miss someone you are mad at. So maybe I'm okay with anger directed at me. Then I can be mad without it being my fault, and it makes it a little easier to leave.
We're hitting the homestretch with only two weeks left. We can do this. We have to.
Good Luck This Week and Next,
Noelle
0 comments:
Post a Comment