The Line

The social line of appropriateness is a thin and pale line. We're all tiptoeing around it trying to decipher the reaction of others and do what we feel is the best thing for the situation. We spend our whole lives trying to show our best face and make sure that people see what they want to. But, is that really us? We walk around on egg shells trying not to offend people and to make sure we are what they want to see. We go to work and do exactly what they want us to do, even if its not our normal personalities. We lie to people to make them think that we are more impressive than we really are. We bend the truth. We all do it. 

When were in social situations, the personality relaxes. We tell inappropriate jokes and spend less time thinking about who we are supposed to be. They say the more comfortable you are around people, the more you will tease them. The more inappropriate things you will say around them, and the less you will filter. But, there is a gray area between teasing and actually bothering someone. I, personally, have never been very good at reading social cues. Sometimes I can pick on people's feelings, but usually I am pretty in the dark. If it's really obvious I will understand, but if its subtile it goes over my head. I can never tell when people actually want me to stop or when they are joking about wanting me to stop. So, I've discovered that my constant teasing isn't always welcome, and I have to watch for the point where my playful self meets my sarcastic self and filter. I am a green/orange, notorious for being ass-holes. We get inside our own heads and don't pay attention to anyone else's. 

I'm not much for apologizing. I've always thought just saying what you want to say is the best way to live, but I don't want to go around being a jerk.

So, I'm sorry if offended anyone and although I can't change, I can watch myself. 

~Noelle

Just so this post isn't just me venting my problems, here is another pic from the Shirali collection. I hope she doesn't mind these. If she does, I guess I'll apologize for that too. But, still post it, because they are enjoyable.

Read More

Innate Curiousity

There are two types of innate curiosity in this world, there is the type that people look for, the type that invents things, and wants to discover a better, and then there is the nosy type. If one more person asks me where I'm from and if I speak Chinese I am going to smack them in face. I know sometimes they are just curious but the look on their faces after I say no I don't know Chinese and no I have nothing to share with you culturally pisses me the hell off. People who are Chinese give you that oh so you're not really chinese with their I'm better than you attitudes and the people that aren't just look disappointed. So maybe we can avoid all this and people can just mind their own damn business.

I had a mini realization today, but then I realized my realization is pointless, and now I'm just sort of sad. I've been playing with graphic design a little bit the last few days because a friend was interested in making a poster, and I get really into that sort of thing. But, if you have a weird, slightly artsy project you want done, even as a joke, I'm your girl. I'm actually pretty proud of this poster, but its a surprise for someone who may or may not be reading this, so it must remain hidden. But, if you have a weird, slightly artsy project you want done, even as a joke, I'm your girl. All through high school I wanted to be a graphic designer, however,  I sort of shoved it away because it was my least practical career musing. Why would anyone encourage me to be a graphic designer when I can do math, if you can do math and science all of your less lucrative loves are pushed aside. I wanted to take some graphic design classes in high school, but it got in the way of AP classes, and I did music so that took my "fun" period during the day. Anyhow, I looked at my college's website and basically I would have to start from scratch it I were to switch my major, and I wouldn't graduate on time, for a major that has really competitive employment and at best will make be 40k.

They say that if you pick a job that will pay well, you can use that money to pursue the dreams you neglected because of practicality. But the forget to mention that by the time you reach this point in your life you have other obligations. You will have the job you weren't sure you wanted and a family who will hopefully rank higher than your childhood dreams.

A quick Shirali pic update courtesy of Jahnavi

I went to a movie party last night. Stayed up til 3:30 am talking to a friend, and got my nails painted. It's the girliest I've been all month.

~Noelle

A late side note. Since I can't publish the poster, here's some wallpaper I made.

Read More