A Little Bit of Everything

Spring semester is upon us, and this syllabus week has felt like a long one. We're back to the daily grind of little sleep, much homework, and enough stress to be declared psychologically insane in the 1950's (yes this is apparently a thing, it keeps popping up on Facebook). It's a new start. Well sort of. I did not change my major. I didn't realize so many people thought I did, but the first day of school I had to explain to multiple people that I didn't. Anyway, I figured since it is my late night at work and I don't have anything due tomorrow I would write a blog post, but I can't decide what to write about.

I could write about my uneventful week. It was really uneventful. I worked a lot. I went to class. That about sums that up. Although I do think it is funny that whether you're 4 or 19 the first day jitters will always be there. I've spent 15 years in school and I still get nervous on the Sunday before the first day.

I could publish my 1:30 AM take on religion. It seems to come up a lot. I read a blog post written by my friend Jen about God. Her posts usually mention God, but this one was more about questioning God's motives. Something I don’t see as much from my very Christian friends. It was real, and it was very good.

I like to think that the universe, whatever it may be, only gives us as much as we can handle. We might not think we can handle it, but whatever is out there knows we can. She talked about questioning God’s reasoning behind giving her cancer. That’s the biggest question isn’t it? Why does an all loving God put so much suffering on the earth? Some things can be chalked up to the free will we were given, which is understandable, but what about illness? No one’s will but God’s can produce that, unless were talking bio warfare. What about circumstance? Another uncontrollable factor. 

God is something that has been on my mind a lot for a very long time. Being at college has brought the question into an even brighter light. I’ve met way more religious people than I originally anticipated. They invite me to things which I enjoy, but to me religion has always been more of a cultural experience than a spiritual one. I read an article once that said there were people out there who are genetically hardwired to religion. All of the religions. They enjoy exploring and never seem to settle into one. I don’t really know if that is actually a thing, but making an actual decision about what I want to be has been way too long in the making. 

I just seem to find myself caught up on the topic of Jesus. All religions are based around a God or Gods, a creator, but Jesus is something unique to Christianity. He seems like He has a mythical creature feeling to him. My mom says that the different religious figures, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, are all representatives of God in a way that the people of those areas can understand. That they are all God in a form that can be accessible to humans. So maybe Jesus is a human form of God to relate to us as humans. I read a book that said the thing that makes humans different from other animals is that we imagine a future. Maybe we needed a human to come and tell us that future exists. But then there are a few technical questions i have, like why did Jesus die for our sins? What does that even mean? I have all these unanswered questions about religion that I don’t understand, and it’s keeping me from wanting to commit. 

Maybe the reason I’ve been placed in the presence of so many Christians is a sign. I don’t really know. I think it’s like with my career aspirations, I think there needs to be a sign. Like I need some sort of epiphany, but maybe that doesn't happen, or maybe it's a gradual thing it's happening right now. Only time will tell.

I could rant about the lack of direction in my life. I decided today I need a career goal. I don't know if that's something you can just decide, but I didn't change my major and now I need to stop messing around and figure out what the next step is going to be for me. I feel like I need to go out there and experience a bit of the world before I decide what I want to do with my life, but that's a step meant only for rich kids. The rest of us need to figure out how to make money, not spend it. 

I could talk about the living arrangement pitch I was just presented. I actually want to do it, but I know that it will be a war with my mom because I've already made plans to live at home. I was just wrapping my head around the idea of moving home, until the end of Christmas break and realized I like living on my own. The offer is tempting and the price is right, but my pitch to my mom might not be as successful as their presentation to me.

Yep, school has indeed started.

I wish everyone a great semester.

Good Luck,

Noelle