April 6, 2016

Sprinter, Wanderer, Straggler

I read this article on New York Times recently about the way young adults face adulthood, and their careers. It went into the whole thing where we’re living at home longer and taking on more student debt. It was the first article in a while, actually, where they didn’t completely trash millennials for their lives. It understood that the 1970s were the last time a large slice of the population didn’t need a college degree for financial success, the 1980s were the last time manufacturing jobs were plentiful, and that the price of college has increased dramatically. The article classifies the journey to adulthood into three categories.

The Sprinter is the type-A. The kid that picked a major early, got an internship before finishing English Comp and freaked out at the prospect of an A-. Everything is about moving up. The Sprinter is the one with the great job offers post-graduation or grad school plans somewhere that isn’t a last stitch effort to hold onto their teenage years. They face the world head on, and no one can stop them.

The Wanderer is the drifter. This one maybe took a little longer to decide on a major, maybe too long. The Wanderer does just that, wanders. This group is treading water after graduation. They are usually underemployed, and unsure of where they are going.

The Straggler is the leftover. The kid who didn’t go to college. Maybe they tried a semester of community college, or spent a few weeks with a trade. They’re the type that weren’t really college material, but were stuck with the one size fits all college idea. Because college isn’t for them, the Straggler can choose between a low paying job, or the military. They take even longer to settle.

I am a Wanderer, which is something I used to be proud of, until lately. Lately I’ve realized all it’s gotten me is a semester over in college, living with grandma, at a job not relevant to my degree while my numerous Sprinter friends are going to new places and having something exciting going on every time I see them. I feel like I’ve done college like the singular 5k I’ve done in my life. I started out at a steady pace, chilling, then all of a sudden I realized all the Sprinters were way ahead of me, then I panic because I don’t want to be behind to I sprint to catch up. Now I am out of breath and sick of the whole thing, and decide to walk again because I don’t give a shit. But then, oh no they’re all in front of me, I better hurry up. No wait, now I’m tired again. Oh hey I’m almost done, I’m gonna sprint to the end, because I am over this. I am never running a 5k again, and I don’t care about any of these people.

Yep, that's how college feels.

February 1, 2016

Stuck In Ohio

There are these weird bumper stickers I see all of the time that read “Stuck in Ohio.” I thought it was something more profound, but its actually just a video production company somewhere.




Its the Spring 2016 semester. The semester I was supposed to graduate if I hadn’t messed around so much with school. I’ll graduate eventually. I sort of wish I was graduating now, but not for the sentimental friendship reasons, because I want to get out of here. I want to move on and do something else. Meet new people, do new things. I got the same way when I was nearing the end of high school. I wanted to go to school somewhere away, do new things, meet new people, but then I went to school 20 minutes away from my house. I still made new friends and met new people, but there is something about now that makes me feel stuck.

I like to do this thing where I put random calendar events in my Google calendar to remind me of things I said I would do. I have an event set to repeat between 2018 and 2023 reminding me to bring cream puffs to a wedding. I guess I wanted to be thorough. Who knows if I will still use Google calendar in 2023. Maybe we’ll have brain implants or something by then. Today one of those events popped up. I am supposed buy an MLB hat for the location in which my friend Madison goes to med school. She picked the date because I had no idea when people know where they are going to med school. It was an accurate date, but for a different place. I figured PA school could count too.


Everyone is making plans for that next step. Where they’re going to go, what they’re going to do. If I could drop everything right now and just go, I completely and totally would. Maybe I get bored too easily. Maybe I think leaving will give me something I won’t actually find. I just feel like my existence is boring. My life is boring, and not what I want it to be. I know there is nothing wrong with my life, my life is fine, I shouldn’t complain, but I want something new, and I am itching for it now.

I guess I should head to Amazon to order a Cincinnati Reds cap, and maybe at Washington Nationals, or a Minnesota Twins, or a Boise Hawks, or a Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks cap. My current cap is getting worn out.

December 17, 2015

An Open Apology Letter to Music Majors

So a bit of a bonus post, because I am procrasi-writing. Well sort of. I am listening to the music for my Understanding of Music final tomorrow, which let me tell you, is assault on the ears. That lead me to this post, an open letter apologizing to music majors, because I have spent most of my life thinking whats up with music majors. You spend 4 years of your life doing something you actually enjoy, no calculus, no coding, no chemistry structures. My dad was a music major and to this day he still talks about his music theory classes. I usually just stare at him. Now I know juries, and performances, and the like are probably just as daunting as an O Chem test, or 1000 lines of code, but music to me has always been “fun.” Until the last few days when I started listening to 20th century stuff. Well really this whole semester. The music was fine for the other eras, but when your gen ed class is harder than your major classes, something weird is up. Now it's still not the PTSD inducing hard that O chem was but still not a fun time. So sorry music people. I guess sometimes your classes are hard, and sometimes the stuff you have to do sucks too.




Here some jazz to mop up the blood. Because I actually like this part of the unit.


Sidenote, here is funny Home Alone video because why not.

 Cool. I'll go back to this noise now.

December 15, 2015

Expectation Management

It’s exam week again. It’s back. I’m writing this and stalling the three hour take home final I should be doing on Blackboard, and reintroducing myself to Pandora because only one person can use the Spotify account attached to the Roku at a time.

Anyway, I read this article recently about the problem with millennials. We have high expectations for our lives, expectations so high that we can’t fulfill them, which ultimately leads to our unhappiness. The problem starts all the way back with our grandparents, children of the Great Depression and World War II. They grew up with nothing, and their expectations were low. When they became adults their idea of happiness was simple, food on the table, a happy family, and stable job. In turn, their kids grew up with expectations of the lives their parents had, the American Dream, but by then the world was a little better, and their lives exceeded their smaller expectations. Then those kids, the Baby Boomers, gave birth to us, the millennials. Their lives had exceeded their original expectations, so they instilled in their children the idea that they can be anything they want. That they should be happy, because their expectations were fulfilled, why would their kids be? Well, that’s is our downfall. Our expectations are so high, we can’t live up to them.


One of the biggest ideas of my adolescence when trying to choose a career was passion. Apparently passion is a new idea that came along in the last 20 years. Our parents and our grandparents weren’t worried about passion, what they wanted was stability. But we were fed the idea that we should be fulfilled. Then there is the second millennial idea. The idea that were special. I was not really fed a lot of that as a kid. I was told I was important and special to my family, but not to the world. The world owes nothing to me. But I’ve seen it, people thinking their special, the world owes them everything, their friends and family owe them everything. We’re owed nothing, but if we have the expectation we are, that’s where unhappiness comes.


Life is about expectation management. Keep your grade expectations low, and they can only improve.

Noelle

December 1, 2015

A Cynical Post About How TV Gives Us False Expectations About Friendship, People Only Care About People Who Die Young, and Spotify Having Too Many Commercials

I've been feeling cynical lately. Really cynical. I keep trying to write but every time I go to write they just become cynical pieces on why TV gives us false expectations of friendship, people only care about people who die young, and spotify having too many commercials. So I gave up and went with it.

Television gives a false depiction of friendship. I am an avid Netflixer, TV watcher, media absorber. Sometimes I think of my life as a TV show. It would probably get terrible rating. One thing I’ve noticed is that every TV character has is a great group of friends. Even the scummiest, the most socially stunted, the weirdest people have scummy, socially stunted, weird people to rally around them. If a character is in trouble everyone in their inner circle drops everything in their lives to help. Every Friday night they’re in a bar laughing and discussing their lives. When there is a fight, they resolve their issues by the end of the episode, because they're not friends, they're family, and nothing can tear them apart. Then there is real life. People fight, and don’t make up by the end of the episode. People don’t rally, they give up. People come in and out of life so easily. Friendship is never as simple as it’s shown on TV. You don’t instantly connect with people. It takes a lot more work. People have busier lives and multiple groups and higher priorities than one singular ensemble cast.

Recently a girl in my class passed away in a skiing accident. She was young, successful, well liked. News outlets all over Ohio are running her story. The president of her university tweeted his condolences. When I was in high school, my senior English teacher died of a brain aneurysm. It was entirely unexpected. They had to have 3 calling hours to accommodate all of the people who wanted to pay their respects. All these young people with so many prospects, so many people to care about them. Then there are older people, who are expected to die. No one cares when they die. Half of them don’t even have services. They run a nice short note in the local paper so all the other old people can see which classmates have passed. I don’t want to sound like I am belittling my classmate, because I’m not. Her death is a loss for my schoolmates, and for her family. But, they say only the good die young, I say only the young die remembered.

Why are there so many commercials on Spotify lately? Every three songs there are three commercials. It seems excessive.

Oh, and I have another Shirali pic.


~Noelle

July 17, 2015

Life Is Not a Climb, It's a Stumble

So, it's been a while. About 8 months, a while. That's what happens with projects like this. They start out super interesting, exciting, then life gets busier, things get forgotten. I can't exactly say I have forgotten about this blog, more I quit posting to it. A lot of stuff happened this last school year, stuff that is a little different, and I didn't write about it. I have always had a ridiculously stable home life, sans the first 6 months. Things were bound to get weird eventually. That's life right? But it's your family so you rough it out, try not not to be pissed all the time, and keep your mouth shut.

But I digress. Onto the summary of my semester, although with fewer people than previous recaps. The reoccurring theme of the last three years has been the same. What do I want to do with my life, be it career, be it God, and these are my friends, we think we're pretty cool.

I'll touch on the latter first, friends. We left dorms this school year. I don't see a lot of them anymore. Simple as that. I decided if I wanted to hang out, if they wanted to hang out, it would happen. I didn't happen with a lot of people, and I am okay with that. I still spend time with the people I care about. I see people at parties. It's sort of the same approach I took to high school. I have a lot of acquaintances, but friends are different. Friendship is work, I'll give it that, but if we both don't care, it's not a crime to let it go.

I feel guilty sometimes though, because I know a lot of people find us to be mean to outsiders. I've noticed it, people point it out, we can be jerks, but then who isn't a jerk sometimes. No one, okay, lay off.

Then there is religion. I do this thing every so often where I decide to go to church. I have all these questions and I try to search for answers, about life, and God and everything else. I don’t know why I think church is going to magically make me understand all these things, and they say the definition of insanity is repeatedly doing something and expecting a different outcome, but I keep going back. When I was in high school, I always thought religious people seemed happier, but now that I am in college I realize that’s not really true. We’re all messed up. This time I tried the more contemporary approach. I like the routine and tradition of catholic mass, but I'll give the whole rock band church credit, they do know how to connect with everyday life. I do a lot more thinking because it connects with a lot of what I am already thinking about. One time, I was having a conversation with someone, and the answers to my questions were answered at that week's service. I like the tradition of mass, but the connection of the contemporary church. But in the end, it's all just motions. To me it's all one big 5 year long experiment. I like church, but more as an entertainment source than a way of life, if that is even allowed.

Then there is career. I saw a career counselor. He told me to join the military because I scored very high on the Strong Test for military. I didn't go back. Next, I wrote a super long post on a find a path message board about my multiple major changes, wanting to drop out, and not having any passion. Anyway, I got a fairly thoughtful reply. The replier likened me to what is called a "polymath." A polymath is sort of saying jack of all trades, without the master of none.  I am the master of none. It did get me thinking though. He told me to think back to my childhood. I was a pretty normal kid. I wanted to be just about everything at some point, a doctor, an architect, a teacher, a librarian, a graphic designer, a pharmacist, an urban planner, a political campaign manager, and that's just the ones that I remember. I really liked TV, mostly medical shows and crime shows. I loved playing outside, reading books, and music. I went through a baseball phase, a map phase, a writing and a history phase. I am a polymath in the sense I like everything. Ben Franklin was a polymath. I am not Ben Franklin. I am just a kid who overthinks everything and gets bored too easily.

I started applying for internships. In May, got an internship working at a hospital answering tech calls. It has made me realize, my degree means nothing. I spent the last 3 years worrying and worrying about my major. Looking at my previous posts I harped and harped on it. Here is the thing, that thing they say, how your degree doesn't dictate your job, is absolutely and completely true. Don't get me wrong, if you want to be a teacher you need a teaching degree, and if you want to be a nurse, you need a nursing degree, but I see all the different degrees people have here and really, it doesn't matter.

So that's my last 7 months in a nutshell. I'm starting to feel the pressure of being an adult. Finishing a degree, getting another job, paying rent. I am making a ton of changes this year, with more to come on that, but I am making them because they are what I want. I like to think everything happens because it is supposed to, and it if wasn't supposed to, it doesn't matter because it has already happened. I've never been good at planning. I have sort of stumbled around to get where I am, for better or for worse.

November 2, 2014

The Five Person Principle

When it comes to people and friend making I have one basic observation. It is only possible to establish, build, and maintain five true friendships at any given time. This number can differ, give or take one or two, but for the most part five seems to be the most reasonable number. These people are the most trusted, most valued, and life changing. Maybe this thought makes me a cynic, or unpopular, but if acquaintances, hangouts, drinking buddies, classmates, coworkers are taken out of the friendship mix, then there leaves only five. 

Of these five people, two will remain stagnant. One is a best friend, probably someone from grade school. The second another longtime friend. The first can potentially be a significant other, but this is up for debate. I think they belong in a realm of their own, but they can also be counted in the five. The stagnant two aren't always around, but when they return, it's like they never left. Then there are three people that are fluid. These people are the people you see on a regular basis who are there to help in times of need. They are trusted, and important, but can change. The fluid three are not going to be the same people now as they were a year ago, nor as they will be a year from now. 

The thing about the five person rule is those fluid three become important. They are the people who are available to give advice and to confide in face to face due to their proximity. However these people change. They come and go without real warning or notice. They are the people who at one point are the extremely important, and then suddenly onto the next phase of their lives. Life happens and people move on, but it's crazy to know that the people who are the most important now, may not even be a thought five years, and will be replaced. 

Maybe I am wrong about this theory, but I find it to be true. My static two are the same and probably have been for the last five years. My fluid three have changed since last semester. The problem with fluid friends is that when they go, there is a bit of a feeling of loss. There is a feeling of trying to hold onto something that was meant to change. But everything changes. It's just weird to think that people who knew everything about me 6 months ago, know nothing about me know. I know people are going to come and go, but I have never been particularly good at dealing with it.